Vulnerability is Power

One of the most powerful tools for communicating is vulnerability. Without it, honesty and boundaries are not possible. I cannot possibly let you see the real me if I am not willing to take the risk of getting real.

Each and every one of our words is a prayer. If we want to live a life of dignity, honesty, and integrity, our words and non-verbal communication must reflect those qualities. We are not bad or wrong when we speak outside of our desired realm; however, we are ignorant of our choices. Once we become aware that our words must reflect our highest good and potential, then we become responsible.

God hears every prayer but the change happens in us.

-Yogi Bhajan

When we express ourselves fully, we are allowing for vulnerability. When we get real with people, we are building intimacy. We allow others to see all of us, the lovely and the gritty. This is uncomfortable, especially when we have built up a wall of self-reliance.

Vulnerability is not to be confused with sacrificing oneself safety or integrity. I used to vacillate between doormat and bulldozer. Neither of these states are empowering. When I can get really real, without expectation of any result, I can be vulnerable and not worry about the consequences. This allows for space and the miraculous to show up. I have lived this over and over again.

When I was in doormat or bulldozer mode, I was acting from a place of fear. I was trying to control an outcome: either for people to like me, or to be left alone. If I acted with force, at least I had predictable results: I would have a moment of control of my environment.

But really, what kind of control is that? It does not work, it drives others away and keeps me isolated in a shell. I now see that if I can be vulnerable, I have access to a larger power or a bigger picture. I can serve the highest good, not just my temporary cure for discomfort.

Now I can go to my husband and say, "I am going to get really vulnerable right now. Can you actively listen to what I have to say?" The objective is to set us both up to win.

Your Assignment:

Look for ways that you can be vulnerable in a safe way. Where can you appropriately get really real with a friend, partner, or family member? How can you set both of you up to win? Do you need to let them know ahead of time and ask for what you need?