Keeping the Soul Whole

"In school they tried to tell me man doesn't have a soul,
"What happened to his," I say "Cause mine is still whole!"
- Spearhead

Keeping your soul intact isn't always easy. I'm not taking about the going-to-church, lighting-candles kind of soul, necessarily, but rather about maintaining the thing inside you that keeps in touch with the humanity of others.
Whatever you're doing, whether it's sparring, working, or some other kind of semi-competitive activity, it's important to cultivate the part of yourself that sees other people as people. Don't let the desire to dominate push you to bulldozer those around you!

This might sound trite or self-evident, but it's not always. For example, anyone who's sparred regularly will relate to the experience of squaring off against someone you really don't want to "lose" to. Perhaps you're in the ring for the first time with a beginner who's tense and swinging hard. Perhaps you're the beginner, trying to prove yourself to your trainer.

Either way, there comes a moment when the "person" in front of you becomes a target, rather than another human being. Your desire to dominate in a particular situation gets pitted against the basic recognition of someone else's integrity. Whether this translates into swinging wildly or else hitting the beginner in front of you too hard, it's a habit you want to keep in check if you want to preserve your humanity- your soul.

In work, this tension - between dominating/getting what you want and perceiving the humanity of the person in front of you - exists as well. Be it an employee, or a manager, it's also best to maintain a sense of the person's integrity and intentions.

Basically, this comes down to not seeing other human beings as means to ends, but rather as fully formed creatures whose worth is similar to yours. This distinction is especially important where there are differences of relative power (for example in when an expert spars with a beginner, or a sales person meets a vulnerable customer).

How does one go about cultivating this vision?

Simply, by not getting too wrapped up in the pursuit of a goal. When going into a situation where your objective might place you at odds with respect of the individual in front of you, make sure you spend a bit of time thinking of them as a whole person. You might want to ask yourself: "What's more important - "winning" this interaction or maintaining my soul?"

You can try to interact with them before and after the "situation". This'll put you in touch with their experience. Also check your own behavior. If you notice yourself grabbing in an aggressive way or forcing, stop what you're doing for a second. Insert a minute of reflection. This will often be enough to bring your soul back, giving it the strength to counteract the part of you that wants to dominate.